As many of you may have noticed, I love to use the analogy of birth as we develop into the new selves we are becoming! At this point in consciousness, we are now in the “birth canal” and are noticing all those painful and frightening contractions. Whether you have had children or not, or have ever witnessed a birth doesn’t matter; we have all been born into the human world in one way or another and it is quite fitting to remember this process as we are birthing ourselves into greater, more evolved human-spiritual beings.
To begin the birthing process, the baby’s body sends a signal to the mother that it is ready to be born. The mother’s body then responds by beginning the process of contractions and expansions to create an adequate opening for the baby to emerge through the birth canal with as much ease as possible. Generally speaking, this is how we begin Life. And this is what we are experiencing now… expansions and contractions (which are surely getting closer together and more intense) so that we can emerge into our new state of being with as much ease as possible!
The question to ask is, “How do we treat the birthing mother, or even the baby, during this process?” The answer, “With gentleness, love and support.”
Currently, we are seeking balance between the masculine and feminine aspects of our being. We are moving toward a more flowing “feminine” energy and away from the more linear “masculine” ways of living in the world. You may have noticed that the do-do-do energies you put forth are not serving you as well as they used to serve you. No matter how hard you TRY, things seem to be melting into chaos. So, why not “go with the flow”?!
Chaos is a matter of perception. In actuality, pure chaos is absolute PERFECTION!
I remember my first childbirth class; one of the dads-to-be was a doctor who noted that when we tense up, our muscles become even more contracted and cause us greater pain. This, of course, was in reference to the process of labor as our class discussed the options for managing, or even surrendering to, those dreaded contractions.
During labor, many women choose to have some kind of support to ease the pain of their contractions. They learn breathing techniques and other methods – like meditation and visualization – to help them THROUGH the process in a gentle, and sometimes natural way. Yes, many women in our culture choose to be medicated – at least partially – to help them manage their pain during childbirth.
The bottom line, however, is not to judge others, or even ourselves, as we find ourselves painfully squeezed by life’s intense contractions, but rather to trust that one way or another we will get through the pain and find it was all worth the effort in the end.
Today’s couples often look for support for their baby’s birth by hiring a Doula; someone who is there to support, love and nurture the mother through her labor. The Doula often holds the mother’s hand, rubs her back, and repeatedly offers words of encouragement. She understands that giving birth is a hard process and that ultimately all is well, even when the laboring woman begins to doubt her own abilities and choices. The Doula’s wisdom and experience allow her to see the light when others can’t see it, as well as offer support through that dark and scary tunnel.
The analogies can go on and on… Yet, it is important to note that we are currently moving through some darkness - inwardly and outwardly - AND there really IS light at the end of the tunnel!
So, what do you do to help you through?
1) Recognize that you are simply in an intense process and the results will be worth it. Trust there is Light... and it's in YOU! (Oh, yes – you did choose this path, by the way.)
2) Remember each time you have a contraction, an EXPANSION follows! You are growing into something grander than you can imagine!
3) Breathe! Whenever possible, remember to take long, deep centering breaths. Don’t tense up and fight the process. Try to surrender to it and go with the flow through your breath.
4) Find someone to support you – a friend, counselor, mentor. Find someone you trust who can hold your hand and can see the light when you can’t; someone who will whisper those words of encouragement, like “You’re almost there!” (And, yes, you really are almost there!)
5) Eat well, get plenty of sleep, and pay loving attention to your body and soul. Think NURTURE thyself.
6) Most importantly, BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF! Don’t expect too much from yourself or be too critical about what you aren’t doing these days. Though it is harder to recognize than a screaming, laboring woman on TV, you really are experiencing something quite profound and beautiful – the amazing birth of YOU!
